Summer Update: I, and Therefore My Chastity, Are Both Smaller Now

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Hi everyone, spending a day at home doing some work work, some housework, and updating you on how things are going in my chaste, female-led marriage.

The biggest news is that I have a new chastity device. Over time, whether through physiological changes or just my comfort zone changing, my penis has not been coming close to filling out my pink Holy Trainer, which has a standard size tube. As a result, I have switched to a short-tube HT in white. I first saw the white on a drop-dead gorgeous Tumblr cutie whose handle escapes me at the moment. This new one is lower profile, and we both like the white color. I’m on the smallest available ring as well.

It does kind of bother me that I fit so much better in an item designed specifically for smaller penises, but it fits perfectly, so yeah, I guess I have objective, independent confirmation that my penis is short and narrow. I’m a millenial and I grew up not using gang showers or open locker rooms, so I always had no real sense of how big I am relative to my real-life (non-porn) peer group. And now apparently I have an answer.

My wife has enjoyed continued professional success, despite the stresses that has caused. I recently moved to a new job at my current employer, making more money while retaining the ability to take time of whenever necessary to take care of things.

One difference between an egalitarian marriage and ours is that, despite my subservient status, I feel a tremendous amount of responsibility. It’s not our fault if the house is a mess, dishes dirty, laundry undone, things scattered, floors gross. It’s my fault, and no one else’s. Not particularly sexy, but definitely something I’m experiencing this summer.

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We have continued to explore feminization together. The picture above represents the headspace I’ve been trying to achieve more frequently this year! My wife has helped me build a little collection of yoga tights, cute and bright workout tops, snug jeans, pleather stretch pants, sweaters, blouses, and more underwear–adding shapewear to my panties has helped my figure and my mindset. It has been much easier to keep up my yoga habit with fun tights and tops. I’m only going to be dressed (outwardly) around the house, though. I’m not an exhibitionist and I’m not going to pass as female without some miracles. I’m still trying to convince her to take me to lululemon, but for now the cheap stuff is my lot.

The feminization continues to be in good fun. There is no sissifycation. (Side note, in early high school I did have several sexual encounters with my best friend, about which I did tell my wife many years ago [after much wine]. She has shown no interest in having other people enter our sex lives–no cuckolding, no hotwifery, no causal cock-sucking for me. This is where I’d like to keep the feminization, but I’ve gotten some questions via email (at lovecherishobey@gmail.com) about how intense this is. It’s purely a diversion from suburban monotony.

My wife continues sexually dominating me–this is the main event, not a diversion.  Her evil means of allowing me to achieve orgasm, the vibrator over taped-up genitals within panties, was used a second time, only this time she had me wear one of her maxi pads in my panties, to further dampen the sensation on my genitals. She cradled me just the same as before, with a breast near enough to suck on when I wanted, speaking firmly but empathetically to me.

This voice is one she’s developed only recently. Her tone of voice is of genuine care, calmness, and peace. It’s a soft, almost cooing sound. Her words are firm, fair, honest, and true, but also difficult to accept. I don’t really remember the exact language, but they were things along the lines of:

“I could make you do this yourself. I’m doing this because I love you.”

“Don’t rush, this was two months in the making. Get as much enjoyment out of this as possible, because who knows when this will happen again?”

“You should know that I would be a happier person if I took this vibrator away. You’d be more obedient and submissive than ever. Your orgasm is a gift from me to you.”

It was a quaking, whole-body orgasm, but one that I distinctly recall feeling only “skin deep.” When the shaking had stopped, I didn’t feel spent the way I did back when we had penetrative sex. I felt almost like I was buzzing–and I had a very short refactory period. I stupidly told my wife this, so I suspect very low stimulation over a very long time has proven successful in her book.

Writing this post has made my cock reach the end of the tube of my new Holy Trainer, a sensation I’d not felt in a year or so. I’m also running short on time, so this will be one of my shorter and less-edited posts.

For the rest of the summer and early fall, I’m hoping my wife’s string of successes leads to a new phase in her career, which she has been planning for quite some time. I’ll be taking on new responsibilities but will have more telecommute time and hopefully therefore more time to blog as well!

Thanks to all who have commented and/or emailed over the past few months. Get in touch anytime!

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Spring Update

Hello everyone! I’m taking a break from some chores today to write an update. Thank you to all the really thoughtful dominants and submissives who have contacted me via email. I have moved the email link to make it easier to find.

Starting with the most important news, my wife has enjoyed some major successes in her career recently. This has meant a lot of long nights–and weekends–at her work, and working from home. It has meant a lot less sleep for her, and some really stressful weeks. Her hard work and incredible intellect has made these achievements possible, and I’ve never been prouder or more in awe of her.

Keeping everything else running smoothly has been a challenge, but I’m glad to be playing a part in her success. She has not been shy about demanding what she wants, when she wants it.

Seeing my wife succeed, knowing what amazing work she has produced, has totally overwhelmed two disappointments I have had–I applied for two positions at my current employer that were upgrades from the one I’m in now, and didn’t hear back about either of them. I’m disappointed at times, but my job right now is going well and I can’t complain. Not the sort of thing I’m sure you’re here to read about, but I want to try to give a more complete and realistic picture of what life in a FLR really looks like. On a happier note, my wife approved our use of grocery delivery, which has been a godsend.

She has also approved of my yoga habit. This has indeed meant some really cute workout clothes! I have been getting yoga pants and tank tops in bright colors and fun prints from Amazon, until I figure out what works well for me. My wife has promised that she will take me shopping at Lululemon or another yoga boutique if keep my habit up!

With work being so busy, my wife has not been shy about demanding orgasms. I’m hoping this is a pattern that persists. In the last update, she mentioned how infrequently most women orgasm, according to surveys, and since then she has mentioned that she would like to come more frequently.

What she has not requested so far this year is penetration. Several times, she has had me keep my Holy Trainer on if I’m wearing one. Once when we got back from a night out, and my genitals were all taped up in my panties, she had me keep both on until she was completely finished. I know better than to ask to be inside her, but she clearly knows how badly I want to be inside her and how badly I want to beg for it. It just doesn’t make her happy, and she doesn’t want me to ejaculate inside her, since it makes a mess and diminishes her control over me.

I’m learning to deal with being so horny after giving her multiple orgasms and not being permitted one myself. I’ve stopped trying to sleep, and will get up to go do some quiet chores instead. Mopping, sweeping, and dusting are quiet and give me a leg up on the week’s cleaning. They take my mind off my selfish desperation. I’ve also found a glass of white wine and some crappy Netflix shows help, too. A couple of times I’ve logged on to this blog to complain, too! Feel free to send me mean emails if I ever do that 🙂

True to her word, my orgasms have been limited. I have had 2 so far in the first four months of this year. One was into the toilet before bedtime, but the other was on our fun night out, when she had me use one of her vibrators on my taped-up genitals, over my panties. It was the most amazing orgasm of my entire life. She held me tightly and kissed me gently while I built up and up and up. She held her breasts to my face, and moved her leg under my head to cradle it. I have no idea how long it took. I only felt waves of growing tension as I desperately tried to increase the sensations, along with a little fear that she might snatch the vibrator away and leave me to cry myself to sleep. She let me keep it, though, and let me have that orgasm. Then I cried in her arms all the same, just for a different reason. I rolled over and fell asleep in my tape and panties. The next morning I woke up to her playing with herself, and she wouldn’t let me touch her. I could just watch.

 

So that’s the update. The Holy Trainer is still working well, but we have been talking about a metal cage. I will update you if we go that route.

A Tale of Two Marriages

I can’t believe it has been two whole years since I posted to this blog. I’m sorry. I have no excuse. I’ve heard from so many wonderful dominants and submissives in that time, and I hope my past posts have been helpful for new readers.

My wife and I have come a long way in the last two years. Let me describe two marriages.

In the first one, the couple has sex on a perfect schedule. There’s always money left over from paying the bills. The house runs like clockwork–laundry, dishes, cleaning, and maintenance happen automatically. Groceries and supplies magically appear when needed. Evenings are relaxed, weekends are full of fun and adventure. There are no disagreements, no arguments, no differences of opinions. The marriage serves as a platform to build a great career, pursue fulfilling adventures and a loving family.

The second marriage is marked by profound sexual frustration, frequent humiliation, and occasional coercion. Money is constantly watched over for any sign of problems. House chores are relentless, and only one spouse does housework, so the other spouse changes their work schedule to take one day every other week off from work to keep up. It seems any trip anywhere includes a stop at the grocery store on the way home. Evenings are spent catering to one person’s whims. Weekends are a death march, with cooking, more cleaning, and food prep happening between jaunts on ‘fun’ trips. There is no space for opinions or ideas. The marriage is a job.

The first marriage is the one my dominant wife lives and the one everyone else sees. The second marriage is the one I, her submissive husband, live every day.

In 2016, after my last post, she embraced full control of our sex life–and remade it. She was always clear that penetrative sex is not her preferred way of getting off. Even as we have continued being intimate–and she has continued receiving orgasms–I have only been inside her five times in the past two years (and one of those times, I was not allowed to orgasm!).

My masturbation schedule has been reduced, and I only wear my Holy Trainer when I’m very desperate and close to orgasm. I generally go three weeks or so between orgasms, with the first week or so unlocked. I had just over a dozen orgasms in 2017.

My wife believes it’s not worthwhile to her for me to only orgasm inside her, so she is OK with masturbation as long as it’s on her (rare) schedule. However, she finds it distasteful, and after years of masturbating in the bed or shower, she asked me early this past year to begin masturbating on my knees directly into the toilet. It’s out of her sight, and guarantees cleanup will be done properly (since I’m responsible for cleaning the toilets), but it’s also yet another humiliation. Sulking back to bed, pulling my panties back up over my painted toenails and shaved legs, after jerking off into the toilet is how the majority of my orgasms end now.

As I have become more sissified and feminized (I’m writing this wearing the new faux leather leggings, tight mockneck sweater, and thong bodyshaper Naughty Santa got me for Xmas!), my wife has continually mentioned that she would like me to start cumming more femininely, meaning more rarely and without jerking or pumping. Being a researcher, she has cited evidence (which I dare not argue with) that the average woman has an orgasm every other month. It’s her desire that I orgasm six times, and that I replace stroking into the toilet with using a vibrator to ejaculate into a maxi pad stuck into my panties. My last two orgasms have happened this way, and they are among the most intense orgasms I have ever felt.

Some things that may happen in 2018:

My wife may decide to forego penetrative sex completely. I’m never going to penetrate better than I eat pussy, and my cock is never going to do any of the things her vibrators can do.

I’m tucking and taping more while wearing feminine/sissy attire, and using the cage less. I still can’t get hard or feel any stimulation either way, but there is no bulge at all with a tuck and tape.

In less sexy news, I may start trying a grocery delivery service to eliminate a chore. I’ve pitched it to my wife, and now she is considering it. I’m also going to be starting a daily yoga habit in an effort to become calmer, more accepting and open, better able to cope with frustration, and as an excuse to get cute new workout clothes. I’ll be waking up 30 minutes early (and going to be 30 minutes earlier, so done with chores 30 minutes earlier…) to do this. I’m writing this here to keep me accountable!

This post has gotten longer than I’d intended. I hope it hasn’t been boring. Please feel free to email (lovecherishobey@gmail.com) or leave a comment.

Update: My First Year in Chastity

If you’ve been reading this blog, you know I haven’t been in chastity the ENTIRE year. Here’s an update:

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My wife’s interest in chastity comes and goes. She loves the effect it has had on my personality and our relationship, but sometimes her interest in general kink comes and goes. She’s never sick of it or opposed to it, but we’ve been D/s for so long it’s just kind of assumed and frankly a little boring. 

I’m always happy to answer questions on email (lovecherishobey@gmail.com) and in the comments, but I’ll answer the predictable ones now.

What was the longest time you went without an orgasm?

Earlier in the year, she started me off by stretching out the time we went between my orgasms. The longest I went without an orgasm was approximately three months.

How many orgasms did you have last year?

So I’ve more or less lost count. It was more than 20, but definitely less than 30. If I had to guess I’d say 24. We went on three trips this year and my wife likes vacation sex.

How many times did your wife orgasm last year?

About 5 orgasms for her for every one of mine. That I know of 😉

What device do you use?

I wear a Holy Trainer 2.0, regular tube, in pink. It’s very comfortable. I know commenters have said it’s possible to slide out, especially with a ‘comfortable’ ring. Removing it while locked would be extremely painful for me–I’ve tried! My ring is on the tighter side but I put lotion around my balls when I install it, which eliminates chafing.

Where is your key kept?

My wife has a chain that she keeps our key on. When it’s just us and she wants to show off, it’s around her neck. In public, she has a Tiffany Key that she wears openly, even around our parents. She and I know what it signifies, and everyone else just assumes she has conventional taste in jewelry. When she’s wearing her Tiffany I know better than to fucking ask where the key is. That would be more time.

Are you allowed to masturbate while released?

Technically yes, but this would be frowned upon by my wife so I avoid it. All but a half-dozen or so orgasms were had with my wife. I confessed each time, and time was added to each locked period.

Does she tease you?

Yes. With the cage on. we tried teasing with the cage off but it took forever to get soft and it was very tempting to run off and play with myself.

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Do you have your prostate milked?

We haven’t tried this. She’s in the medical field and did some research. Three months has no negative effects, and some data show potential positive effects.

How long will you go for this year?

I don’t know, that’s not my decision to make anymore.

 

Should More Men be in Chastity?

Having spent much of the past year locked in chastity, I have undergone huge positive changes in my life. From reading and communicating with other locked and submissive males, I have come to believe that chastity makes nearly all men into better people. It’s much more than losing control over his genitals. It’s submission, a loss of control, and an acceptance that a lot of what society tells men is complete nonsense.

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When men are chastised, they are more considerate, more obedient, more thoughtful, more helpful. Let’s face it–while quite a few men are honest about their submissiveness, there are many many more who would have better lives if they admitted their inferiority and sought out a dominant partner to whom they could pledge their loyalty and obedience.

There would be many benefits for the chastised male. They would (finally!) be able to see themselves as submissive and obedient, and could explore that in other ways in their lives. How have they been lying to themselves? Becoming chaste would give many men a much-needed wakeup call for other aspects of their lives.

Once in chastity, men become become calmer, friendlier, more patient, and more pleasant to be around. In return for all this, men only need to give up instant sexual gratification. Is the ability to play with yourself whenever you want really that important that men are willing to sacrifice a better personality?

Men would find that their relationships with their significant other, if they have one, would improve immediately as a result. Besides all the improvements in their comportment mentioned above, they would have given their dominant partner an expression of love and trust that is hard to top–the key to their sexual pleasure.

Once locked up, it’s natural to feel frustrated. This frustration is a good thing, because it teaches men subconsciously that there are some things they cannot have and cannot do. They must accept another person’s opinion, leadership, guidance, and commands. This frustration is healthy. It helps to break down the male ego and all the lies males are told in our society.

Once a chastised male can accept their frustration over their inability to control their penis, it will be easier to deal with frustration that might come from their dominant’s control over other parts of their lives. Giving up decision making to their dominant partner over other areas will cause both the dominant and submissive to feel calmer and more fulfilled. Taking orders is much easier when your dominant controls your next orgasm.

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When a male cannot have an orgasm himself, he will quickly learn to find his partner’s orgasms fulfilling. If his dominant partner is a woman, he will quickly master the art of giving her pleasure, and find her orgasms bring him more joy and satisfaction than his own brief spurts. If his dominant partner is another man, he will find it rewarding to try to find out how much pleasure his dominant can possibly take.

If the dominant seeks to try new things in bed, he will of course agree to it. While he may desperately want to penetrate his lover, he cannot, because he is inferior and his lover does not wish him to experience that sensation. Perhaps the lover instead wishes to penetrate him? Once chastised, he will willingly agree to it. Once he does, the pleasure it gives will be more than enough to convince him to try it again and again. How long before he is conflicted over giving or receiving?

When a man cannot have an orgasm, he will also learn to find pleasure in other parts of his body. Simply being kissed all over will become extremely erotic. Touching and massage will provoke powerful responses. Teasing will be the best he can get, and he will willingly take it. Knowing that his partner has ordered his genitals to be small and soft, and then knowing that his partner is intentionally causing him to become aroused, will reinforce that his partner does not find his erection, or his penis at all for that matter, to be an important part of their relationship. The important thing is the man himself, and the obedience and service he provides.

When locked up, the way a man looks at other women (or men, if he’s gay) changes. He becomes tense around them, and they make him slightly nervous. This is as it should be. He will have a constant reminder that his sex is under someone else’s control.

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I could go on, and I probably will in subsequent posts. But having been in chastity for a year (updates to come), I’ve found it an invaluable part of making me a better spouse, lover, and man.

I firmly believe more men should be in chastity. Masculinity in our culture is fundamentally broken, and the symbolic act of giving up control of our sex is a powerful statement that we want to be something better.

I’d love to hear from men and women, straight or LGBTQ, submissives and dominants alike, if you think of any more reasons why more men should be placed in chastity.

 

 

A Submissive Sissy Boy’s Christmas List

My wife is enjoying new ways of helping me express my feminine side. This is hardly the ‘forced feminization’ of internet fantasy–I’d like to be fully sissified, but my wife isn’t really into that, and it’s a fine line you have to follow when you’re married (and particularly when you’re accustomed to being obedient to your wife).

All that aside, there’s a sissy Christmas list to go along with my real Christmas list. I’ve shared both with my wife, and we’ll see what ideas she likes!

I’m not going to reproduce the entire thing here, but here are some highlights:

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  • Around-the-house tights in cute colors from White Plum and/or Black Milk

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  • Workout clothes from UnderArmour, Nike, or maybe even Athleta
  • Cute (i.e. bright but tasteful) workout shoes from Nike
  • Better hair-removal tools
  • More colors of nail polish! I’m getting addicted, even if my wife doesn’t like my choice of colors
  • Closer-fitting mens jeans and khakis
  • Shapewear to wear under these closer-fitting pants to help my shape

And lastly, every sissy’s favorite present:

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  • Panties! We’ve found that fun and lacy just don’t work well with a chastity cage, but that a pair with more coverage a heavier fabric will keep a cage tucked nicely away and eliminate almost all the bulge, which helps when wearing tights.

Being Locked in Chastity Is the Best Thing That Happened to Me This Year

This past year has been one of the best of my life, and one of the best years of marriage my wife and I have had since getting married six years ago. A lot of things have come together to make this great situation come together, but I’m confident in saying that being kept chaste and frequently locked up has has had the biggest role in my happiness this past year.

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Before being locked in chastity earlier this year, my wife had enforced temporary chastity on an as-needed basis, but my expectation was always that my orgasm would come soon…my fulfillment would be achieved, my satisfaction would occur no matter what.

Knowing that I was merely delaying my happiness made the game interesting, but hardly fulfilling. With far longer periods of chastity coming this year, and the frequent presence of my chastity device, the focus has shifted. I believe the key to my happiness this past year has been due not to the denial of orgasm, but to the elimination of the expectation of orgasm.

As the year has progressed, intervals between orgasms have lengthened. I will have fewer orgasms this year than I did in some days as a teenager! I have been chaste for several weeks now, and I am told it will be at least until the new year before I orgasm again.

So my next orgasm is a very long way away. It’s so long, in fact, that it’s no longer useful for me to think about when I’m coming next. This past year, I’ve learned to give up that part of myself that receives lasting pleasure from orgasm. It’s fun, but it’s now an incidental part of sex. The last few times I’ve reached an orgasm, I’ve been ambivalent about it because it’s not what gives me the greatest pleasure anymore.

This picture came across my Tumblr recently, and I think it’s a great example (sorry, I can’t figure out a way to add the photo here without losing the link to Tumblr). When I’m chaste, cuddling with my wife is just that–cuddling, being close to one another, holding each other tightly. She can be dressed or nude, she can keep me there for a few minutes or an hour, she can play with my cage and tease me or act like I have no cock at all.

The whole while, it never turns into foreplay unless she decides it does. I can’t get hard, and can’t have an orgasm, so it’s completely out of the question.  Cuddling is only about our love for each other, and being close to one another.

If she wants an orgasm, she’ll have one. I have no need to even mention it. If she wants to play with herself, she will. If she wants to use one of her vibrators or a dildo, she will. If she wants me to hold her, she’ll tell me. If she wants me to stand and watch her (a recent favorite of hers), she’ll point. If she wants to send me to the kitchen to go make coffee, or run up the street to the coffee shop, she’ll tell me.

If she wants me to go down on her, she’ll motion me to. I know to keep going when she cums, gently kissing her before checking with my tongue to see if she wants another. I simply stop when she pulls my hair. If she wants to sit on my face, she’ll climb on top of me, and will climb off when she’s done.

All the time, chastity has freed me. Men refer to it as a ‘cage’ or a ‘prison,’ but it’s really the opposite. It has freed me to focus entirely on my wife, and on giving her as much pleasure as possible. Giving my wife pleasure is, as a submissive, far more fulfilling than receiving pleasure. Loving my wife more deeply is much more fun than having her swallow my cum.

As a submissive, I’m at my best when I’m giving to others. By best I mean I’m happiest and most fulfilled. If you ask me what my favorite things were about all the jobs I’ve had, it’s the times I’ve been able to do the most for my clients and coworkers. If you ask me what my most fulfilling activities are, I’d say things like helping others work through tough problems, or learn new things. This extends into my marriage, where my first priority is my wife’s happiness and satisfaction. Her satisfaction leads to my satisfaction. Chastity has helped me focus on this by overcoming the obstacle that was in the way.

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This ‘coming’ year, I don’t think I’m going to have many orgasms. Instead, I’m going to build a deeper connection with my wife, and learn even more from her.