It has been nearly three full weeks since I last had an orgasm, and unless my wife lets me have an orgasm this weekend (unlikely), this will be the longest I have gone without orgasm in quite some time.
As I mentioned before, my wife does not allow me to wear a chastity device, for two reasons. First, she wants me to remain chaste using only my willpower. She believes that forcing me to own my chastity and take responsibility for my behavior will make me more submissive. I certainly think it has. Second, she wants to be able to touch me and tease me whenever she wants.
She has put me in the habit of not playing with myself, to the extent that it feels strange to do so when she tells me to tease myself. But after three weeks, my feeling of sexual arousal never fully goes away. Two weeks seems to be the minimum time needed for me to achieve a state of true humility, understanding of my subservient position in my marriage, and docile acceptance of my wife’s demands.
Most of all, it teaches me about myself and my relationship with my wife. Here are some of the things that have occurred to me while reflecting on my ongoing chastity:
As a submissive man, I’m sexually very different from a dominant man. A dominant man gets to have an orgasm whenever he wants, pretty much however he wants. I must wait patiently for weeks, perhaps a month or more, for my wife to feel that I have pleased her sufficiently (both in bed and in our marriage).
When expressing anger or aggressiveness, I feel like I’m an actor playing a part. Society expects me to behave a certain way as a male (in our current age, that includes behaving quite badly). Although I don’t want to be aggressive or arrogant, I have internalized the messages of society that say I should be that way. Being submissive and chaste make me realize how terrible it is to be aggressive and arrogant, and how rewarding it is to be kind, adaptable, accommodating, and gentle.
Any acknowledgement of my submissive role creates a reaction like a drug for me. And the more I have, the more I want. It’s also very easy to be desensitized. This is why submissives of any gender can be so annoying to vanilla partners–we sometimes pester them for any little response we can get out of them. Submissives (at least this one) tend to dwell on things. The best thing for me to do with all that pent up thinking is to use it to make sure that when my wife tells me something, she only has to tell me once, and then I have learned it and she doesn’t have to remind me.
(Apologies if this is a sloppy post–I just had this idea and wanted to get it posted while it was fresh in my mind.)
I’d be curious to know what other submissive men have learned from their time in chastity.