Ten Ways My Wife Has Led Me To Be Better

With the knowledge that I am eager to conform to her preferences, my wife has become comfortable with giving me input in how to improve as a husband. They’re minor things, mostly, but in total they represent a big change in the way I used to think (and I think most husbands in Western countries do).

These are ten lessons that I have distilled from the advice and instruction my wife has recently given me. I’m still working on all of these things (with her help and support, of course), and I thought I would put them here in the hopes that they help other submissive men to focus their efforts to be more pleasing to their mistresses.

  • Dress better: Only buy things you really like. Buy fewer, nicer things. Being overdressed is awesome, underdressed is shameful.

  • Eat better: improve your diet, in both quantity and quality. Eat slowly and stop before you feel full–your body takes time to let you know you’re done.

  • Work out consistently: it only works if you do it regularly, and properly. Choose something that you enjoy doing and that you will look forward to even when you’re unmotivated.

  • Groom better: more is more. You need to do a lot before it’s considered too much. People will notice that you’re well groomed, but won’t notice exactly what you did.

  • Improve your posture: Try it–it makes you feel happier. You’ll also look better, and have fewer aches and pains.

  • Be friendlier: life is all about people. Make more connections with people, and assume the best about the people you meet. Many people think they are exceptionally un-social, but the truth is that everyone struggles with this just as much. Be the one awesome person who takes initiative.

  • Focus on the positive in everything: how you look at a problem changes everything. Use your ability to think of creative excuses to think of creative solutions instead.

  • Look for ways to make other people happy. See the lesson above. Then act on those ideas.

  • Appreciate what you have: never say, “if only…”. Maximizing what you have is often easier and produces better results than making drastic changes for change’s sake.

  • Plan great adventures and make time for fun: fighting boredom takes effort. “Playing hard” means working hard at your play.

When things look challenging, realize that the biggest obstacles you face are ones you unwittingly put in front of yourself. Submitting myself to my wife has helped me feel more free, ironically, to make changes to my life because now I’m accountable to someone else. This will sound insane to someone who is happy in an egalitarian marriage, but it has been extremely helpful to me. Hopefully they are helpful to other D/s couples too!



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