A subservient husband will rarely have the luxury of being a stay-at-home househusband. A submissive husband should contribute to his wife’s earnings as well as serving her domestically. This is true in my wife’s home, and I think it’s true for most other D/s couples.
After long discussions with my wife, I have completed a career change. I loved my job, and would have liked to have done it indefinitely. But my wife pointed out the lack of promotion opportunities, the low pay, and the long hours that included nights and weekends (if you live in the US, you might easily guess what my profession was). With my wife’s leadership, I sought out a new path within my field that has led, after a brief trip back to graduate school, to a new profession that fits our goals much better.
My wife is the alpha partner in our marriage. Her career far more important to her than mine is to me, and it’s far more important financially. She’s on a prestigious and highly competitive track, and has ample opportunity for advancement to the top of her traditionally male-dominated field. Most of her male colleagues have wives or fiancees who have their own, less-important jobs that allow them to support their significant others. It’s how people in her field are able to sustain their intense performance year in and year out.
I’m the beta partner. My career is intended to financially support our family, but also must leave enough time so I can be a househusband. Where my wife’s focus is on furthering my career, my focus is on making sure things at home run smoothly. You could say that being a househusband is your part-time second “job,” even if it feels more like slavery (in a good way). By making sacrifices in my career,
As I mentioned in a previous post, sometimes the husband is alpha and the wife is beta, which is fine if that’s truly a reflection of each partner’s abilities, goals, and personality. All too often, it’s not. If I were delusional enough to think I were the alpha partner, I would be frustrated, anxious, and resentful. But because my subservient position is clear and obvious to myself and my wife, there’s nothing to be insecure about.
Subservient husbands and aspiring part-time househusbands should look for jobs differently than the alphas in our world.
I completed a traditionally “alpha” graduate program. Many of my classmates, especially the male ones, looked for jobs with “alpha” criteria:
- Prestige of the company
- Job title
- Potential for promotion
The job search for this subservient husband, however, focused on other things:
- Flexible hours: can you fit your job to your life outside of work?
- Salary, and benefits
- Commute: this is very important if you’re going to be on time to your second job as a househusband
- Office culture that places a priority on work-life balance
I was fortunate enough to find a job that fit all four of these things, at a great organization that fits my personal goals and values. Most importantly, I doubled my salary while leaving enough time to be home at least an hour before my wife, so that dinner is started and household things are taken care of.
I don’t think that any subservient husband should be ashamed to say that he has molded his career to suit his role at home. The fact is that my wife’s career is extremely important to her–and to me–and part of my natural role in this marriage is to support it. To have found a job that lets me do that while making the most of what skills I do have is a great blessing.