Being a Part-Time Househusband

As I explained in my previous post, my subservient position within my marriage is reflected in my choice of career and workplace because it is just one of my jobs. My other job, of course, is househusband. My marriage to my wife has progressed to the point where it is my responsibility to clean, do laundry, and shop for food and supplies (she shops too, but for clothes). If I don’t do it, nobody will. My wife has not ironed in years, and I’m not sure she could turn our vacuum on if she needed to. Which is OK, because she doesn’t need to. She has trained her submissive husband to do these things for her, and I’m only too happy to do this.

Taking on additional responsibilities might seem hard, but in reality it’s quite easy. All you have to do is think of yourself as taking on a part-time job.

Where most men (and even some women) might consider this a nightmare, it is a blessing for both my wife and I, and I am happy to take it on. Our house is always ready for friends to drop by, and we never argue over chores. If the work is not done to her satisfaction, it is repeated to her satisfaction in a clothing-optional manner (she generally chooses the clothing option for herself, and the no-clothing option for me). There is no stress, no confusion, and no sense of dread. The laundry needs to be done? I’ll do it.

The reason I’m able to do all of this, however, is that I think of it like a job. It’s just a second job for me, and I’m lucky that my first one is only 40 hours because it leaves time to do everything I need to do. Sometimes I run out of time and have to skip things, like moving laundry day back a day, but generally there is time. The thing is that I had to choose to make this time, and that reflects the fact that my duties as a househusband are as important as my regular job. Sure, i get paid more for my day job, but in submitting to my wife I have agreed to take on a second one just the same.

Housework is stressful not because it’s in any way mentally challenging, but because there are so many other things we would rather be doing. But when you treat housework like the part-time job that it is, you stop being stressed. I need to spend two to three hours per weeknight cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, and all the other things that need to be done. On the weekend, there are approximately five to six hours of things that need to be done. On a busy week, it’s not unheard of to spend 25 hours doing these things. But then there are some other weeks where it’s only 15. You deal with it.

If I spent all that time thinking about how much more fun it would be to play video games or watch TV or eat potato chips, I wouldn’t like it. But being a househusband is my part-time job. Every time I wish I was doing something else but consciously choose to get back to scrubbing the bathroom, I have a pang of submissive feeling. This is the essense of submission to your wife’s priorities.

One final note: my wife doesn’t watch over me like a boss. That would be making more work for her, which would defeat the purpose.

Submitting to your wife will probably mean you do more work than you do now. But as with most things, doing more work brings with it greater rewards.


4 thoughts on “Being a Part-Time Househusband

  1. Nice post, you explain your househusband role very well.

    How did you and your wife decide on what chores need to be done and how often? I do all the housework, and my wife accepts this. But she does not provide any input on how often a task needs to be done, how thoroughly it is completed or even what chores need to be done. It is almost like she does not want to say anything since she feels guilty that I am doing all the work. As you might guess, she has not completely embraced this wife lead marriage idea.

    1. Hi Craig, thanks so much for your comment, and apologies for my delay in responding! This is a great question.

      I also wanted my wife to provide more direction. I realized something important–she doesn’t even want to think about chores. The joy of taking care of things for my wife is that she finds everything is the way they should be without having to ask.

      Once I realized this, I just made myself a list of what needs to be done daily, weekly, and monthly. Like you, I was already doing them so it was easy to make the list. Then I just started following the list, making sure everything was done well. After a week, I asked my wife to let me know if she wanted me to do anything differently. Over time she got used to it, and gave me a lot of helpful suggestions. It’s always changing depending on the time of year, what’s on our schedule, etc.

      I think that it’s important to show that you hold yourself responsible for the chores. My wife knew I was serious when I started getting up extra early to do chores I ahd missed the day before. Once she knows you take responsibility, she will know she has a basis to make suggestions and give guidance. If she does give a suggestion, make sure it’s followed immediately–she’ll know you value your input and find it helpful.

      Best of luck–it’s great for both of you that you consider your wife to be above doing chores, and it’s great to see other men who accept more responsibility for their wife’s fulfillment (and therefore their own!)

      PS: This turned into a long response–sorry if it was long-winded! I think I will break it out as a separate post as well.

  2. I envy you friend. I too enjoy my part-time job as housemaid, but we also have an 18 month old that I am completely responible for 24/7. finding time for chores is really hard. I laugh at my former self, and daydream of the ability to simply clean all night without interruption and planning.

    1. I can only imagine, Andrew! Babies are still a few years away for my wife and I, but she has made it clear that when they do arrive my list of household responsibilities will be expanding even further. Although it sounds incredibly difficult, I’m looking forward to taking on the role of parent. I think raising kids is one area where it’s becoming much more acceptable for a male to take on more domestic responsibility. I’m lucky that my job is quite flexible, as it will allow me to play a major role with the kids while my wife pursues her career. I’m sure all of this is easier said than done, however. Best of luck!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s