Spreading the Word about Female-Led Relationships

The trends are clear: the dynamic between men and women are changing. It is obvious that everyone has benefited, and these shifts are just beginning to be felt–most of the progress toward equality has not yet been made. This means that more men can–and should–take on subservient roles in their marriages.

How to spread the word about female-led relationships?

My wife and I have found great fulfillment in our marriage. I’m naturally submissive and she’s naturally dominant, but it took us a long time to do things like put all the chores on me, restrict my orgasms, and give all financial control over to her. We had to learn a lot about dominance and submission, and we had to wade through a lot of very eccentric porn to get there.

Of course, there are lots of men who like the idea of dominance and submission in their choices of porn. But how many of them see how fulfilling it would be to put their wives on a pedestal?

There are at least as many women who would like their husbands to put them first. For the point of a marriage to be about making the wife happy and fulfilled.

There are so many people who would benefit from a female-led marriage…hopefully this blog and the many other dedicated FLR bloggers I read are helping other couples to find that joy. Anything else I would gladly consider, but can’t really think of anything. If you have an idea of how a FLR blogger can help spread the word, let me know in an email or in the comments!

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4 thoughts on “Spreading the Word about Female-Led Relationships

  1. I have been married for 41 years and recently began a FLR with my wife. I am a typical alpha male and she is more submissive. However, after 41 years of marriage I felt guilty for sitting on my butt the whole time while she did all the household chores. She waited on me hand and foot and would constantly ask me if I needed anything. If I said I was in the mood for a hot dog, she would jump in the car and buy some for me. This may sound bad but she enjoyed making me happy both in and out of the bedroom. That is how she was brought up. On our 41st wedding anniversary I introduced my wife to a FLR. I confessed that I felt guilty about how I let her serve me all those years while I did not do a single household chore. Yes I worked hard so that she could have anything she wanted and that was fine by her but I still felt that as we are now in our senior years, she should enjoy the life that I did by putting her needs and wants ahead of mine rather than the other way around which was the way it used to be. We tried it on a small scale to see what we liked or disliked. She had a hard time in letting go of the submissive wife role so I would basically do things without being told to get her used to it. We tried male chastity but that was like many other fantasies where the idea is much better than the act. I liked to achieve orgasm and she took pleasure in giving them to me as I did to her. Over a few weeks time I wrote down the things that worked for us. My wife was very uncomfortable being in charge. In our case, I have a very high genius level IQ and she has an average one so basically she has always deferred to my decisions which have worked out very well for the both of us. After all, it is foolish to have either partner make the final decision when the other is more qualified to do so. What we ended up doing is agreeing that all major decisions would be jointly made and if not decision could be made, my wife had final say unless her decision would be bad for our lives. It would be foolish to allow someone to drive off a cliff simply because you agreed to make the driver have the final say so. When it comes to my job, I have sole authority for obvious reasons as she does not understand what I do and therefor is not qualified to make decisions about my work.

    What we did do is shift the authority for all non major decisions from me to her. She still was nervous going it alone after 41 years of my participation in all decisions. So we agreed that she could make the decisions alone or ask for my opinion, at her option. I explained that the idea was not to make her life more difficult by pushing off all of the decision necessary in a marriage, to her. Rather the goal was to make her life easier after I enjoyed the benefits of being catered to in all things. I listed the household chores that I would regularly do like washing the dishes, cleaning the bathrooms, taking out the trash and similar things taking into account that she does not work and likes to do most housework to fill her time since she does not work or have any outside interests. She was very concerned about me taking over all the things she enjoys doing so we limited my task to the more disagreeable ones. 🙂

    Another area where our FLR impact me the most is financial. I spent large amounts of money on boy toys whenever I wanted to. I became a compulsive buyer, often ordering things online late at night and either forgetting that I ordered them or remembering that I did and cancelling them the next day. Now I am limited to spending $100 a month and if I need more I have to get permission from her. She also holds all my credit cards and gives them to me when I need them. I work from home so that is not a problem at all.

    We also wasted a lot of time and energy trying to please each other. Most of our decisions, except my boy toys, took each others likes into consideration and it grew tiresome telling each other to make the choice of restaurants, movies, etc. , only to have each of us defer the decision to the other back and forth several times. Most of our marriage was spent in her trying to please me by making choices she thought would please me. It was very rare for her to pick a restaurant or movie for us to go to. This produced guilt in me and a feeling that I have had it so good while she waited on me hand and foot that turnaround was fair play. We are both senior citizens but I am in better physical condition and it pained me to see her struggle to get out of a chair to server both me and herself. We now have agreed that I will serve her as she served me all these years and I find that I enjoy it a lot as she said she did when she did things to please me.

    She still struggles with asking me to do things for her and when she does, she asks nicely and always thanks me afterwards. Slowly but surely she is becoming more comfortable with her new role as head of our household. I find that I am much more content with my life knowing that I am no longer a parasite in our marriage. My wife still has a submissive personality but that is slowly changing. It will take time as she does not want to treat me as a slave as I did not treat her as one. Everything she did for me was without me asking and many times I rebuffed her for waiting on me so much.

    Things get better every day. There is no element of D/S in our FLR relationship as so many website describe it. After all, what we did is simply flip our male led relationship to a FLR so why would it all of sudden morph into a D/S situation? She was not my slave before and I am not hers now. We still respect each other and value each other’s opinion and advice. The only thing that has changed is that I now do more around the house, take care of her needs instead of the reverse, and she curbs my spending. Other than major life decisions, she now has final say instead of me and we no longer go back and forth telling the other to make the decision for the small stuff. I made it very clear that it makes me happy when she makes choices that please her rather than just me. However, in practice, many times decisions can be made that pleases both partners. Some feel that all decisions should be for the sole pleasure of the female but that does not sound like a loving relationship but more of a sexual D/S situation that for most people does not end well.
    Just wanted to let people know that a FLR is what you want it to be. Do not let others who have visions of whips and chains, enforced chastity and corporal punishment determine how your FLR will be. Most of that stuff is the stuff of male fantasies. In fact, many marriages have the woman in charge but do not put labels on it. I have known many couples where it was obvious that the wife was calling the shots and still do.
    For me the key to a successful FLR is to give the final authority to the woman only if she is best able to run your household and finances. It makes no sense to put someone in charge of the relationship that is less able to assume that role simply to fulfill your fantasy. Design your FLR so that you both have your needs and wants taken care of. Once sided relationships, in my experience, never stand the test of time.

    1. Steve,

      Thanks for such a great comment. There’s so much here that resonates with me. I think you’re spot on that Female-led Relationships exist on a spectrum, and each couple is responsible for creating the dynamic that works best for them. My dynamic is a little different since my wife is so much more intelligent than I am (she’s the one with the high IQ), but I see many parallels as well. In my case, my wife is clearly the best able to manage our household and set the priorities for our family. I can best contribute by serving and assisting her. Your comment about feeling guilty while trying to please one another is also excellent–by openly admitting to each other that she is the superior partner in our marriage, we have nipped many, many potential conflicts right in the bud and turned them into opportunities for her to demonstrate her authority. I see you don’t have a blog listed, so I can’t follow you back, but feel free to come by and comment anytime!

  2. I have been married 14 years and I am submissive but for the most part had been the head of our household financially. Over the years my wife would at my request be more dominant which would sometimes work well. But the biggest shift was when she took 100% control of our finances and the decisions about a month and a half ago. We talked about it and she decided it would be a good thing after finding some phone sex sites on my computer history. She was pretty pissed at me. We went to our bank which is a small local bank and sat down with the 20 something assistant manager lady and my wife said we needed to change the accounts. The personal account would be in only her name and our business account would only have her as a signor and she would open an account for me which she would link to her account to be able to give me an allowance. The look on the bankers far was priceless. The bank had a new manager that happened to start that week and she wanted to see what the assistant manager was doing so I was at the mercy of my wife and the two bankers. I like humiliation but this was real public humiliation. The banker made it clear she wouldn’t be able to give me any balances or discuss the accounts with me anymore and took my bank cards and would cut off my online access.
    Every once in a while my wife will send me in to make a deposit and they won’t even give me a balance and if I ask they say I need to get my wife’s permission.

    Overall it has really helped our relationship and I agree that until she took over full control of the finances we wouldn’t have a true wife led marriage. Everything is still evolving but so far it’s going well and we are closer right now than in a few years.

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