Submissive Self-Improvement

Submissive Self-Improvement

I’m not entitled to many opinions as a submissive male (and one of those opinions is that fewer opinions in a male is usually a good thing).

But one opinion I feel strongly about is that a submissive man should always be trying to better himself, in every way, in order to be more valuable to his mistress. If she is worth serving, obeying, and dedicating one’s self to, then she deserves your absolute best. If she has chosen you to serve her above all the other docile, obedient, subservient males in the world, then you owe it to her to be the best version of yourself that you can be. If you are submissive enough to give up your time, your skills, your intelligence, your money, and your passion to your dominant partner, then you must actively strive to improve yourself.

Over the past few years, as I have increasingly given in to my wife’s leadership and dominance over me, I have become a better person. This is not just my opinion, it’s hers, too. I have become more attentive, a better listener, and a better conversation partner. From small things like my manners and posture to more tangible things like my wardrobe and workout regimen, I credit my wife with all sorts of improvements that have made me a better husband for her. I feel my story is similar to many men who have are subservient to their wives.

The quest to be a better person, however, is never ending, so I’m trying some new things to hopefully improve as a person and as a husband.


With my wife’s encouragement, I have started doing yoga, and I love it. Right now I just do it at home, but I’d like to take a class in the not-too-distant future.


Weekly dinner

I’m responsible for breakfasts and lunches, as well as helping to cook every dinner and cleaning up every day. But once per week my wife has suggested that I choose the recipe, make sure the ingredients are on the list when I go grocery shopping, cook it, serve it, and clean up after it. Once per week, she doesn’t think about dinner at all. This is a benefit for me as well, since my cooking skills will be getting an upgrade.


Hers & his book club

Again with my wife’s inspiration, I have started reading the same novel as my wife so we can talk about it. She picks the book, so I’ll be reading a lot of chick-lit, but I’m happy to be reading something new and fun.


Lose more weight

I’m down 15 pounds. I still have a spare tire that makes my shirts fit awkwardly, and I could just be eating healthier.


Better grooming

My wife suggested I remove the hair from my chest, underarms, and  legs, in addition to the area she previously had me keep clear. I love having smooth legs–not just because they look more feminine, but because fresh sheets and massages are ten times better than before. I will proudly rock my shaved legs this summer.


Brighter colors

Knowing I’m always looking to express a more feminine identity, my wife has urged me to try some more and brighter colors than I have in the past, especially in the winter.


Drinking less

We’re cutting back on the wine. I’m not much of a beer fan, although she is, and she’s excited about just drinking dark craft beer once we have cut most of the wine out. I’ll abstain altogether unless she happens to get something I like.


No sports, cancel cable

I’m not going to be having time to watch them anymore, anyway. My wife would prefer that I watch fiction with her rather than sports.


No video games

My wife asked me, “so do you want the new PS4?” And I said, “no, I have plenty to do around the house and shouldn’t waste time playing video games.” She said, “that’s the right answer.”

I know I’m a long way from perfect. My wife could probably do better than me if she didn’t mind a self-centered, disobedient male. But just the act of trying to be better shows my wife that I take myself seriously, and that I’m doing my best for her.

One thing I’m curious about is what other dominant women expect their male subs to do to improve, or what males do to better themselves. I’d love to hear any comments, or links you have that I should check out!



3 thoughts on “Submissive Self-Improvement

  1. How do you express your feminine identity? I tend to prefer feminine things more than masculine and would love to know your progress in this area, whether you express femininity in public or just in private, etc.?

    1. Hello Uxorious, apologies for the delay in replying!

      I express my femininity in two main ways: ways that are hidden to others, and ways that are visible to others.

      Some “invisible” ways include: a strict diet, imposed by my wife (vegetarian most days), ‘feminine’ exercise including spin classes and body conditioning at our gym (no free weights), and lots of cardio, a career in a field filled mostly with women, my spotify would easily be taken for a woman’s, etc.

      The visible ways are fewer–I, and more importantly, my wife, is careful about this. I take my lead from my wife. My clothes fit well, often very closely. I wear male underwear most of the time, but it’s in “pretty” colors and my wife likes them. My workout wear fits more closely and is brighter than what many men might wear. The big change for me this year is that my wife has recommended that I keep my legs shaved this summer. She likes the look and knows I hate my body hair.

      I don’t think of ways to be more like a girl. When I feel myself suppressing something becuase it doesn’t fit the male stereotype, then I pay close attention and do it instead. I’m not acting like a different version of me, I’m ignoring the gender BS and being my own person.

      That said, I honestly feel like if I had been born female, I would spend a lot of effort pushing toward the masculine side of the spectrum. I know many people suffer greatly from feeling caught in the middle, but I realize I personally like balancing both.

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