Starting to establish the dominant/submissive dynamic in your marriage is very difficult, since you’re trying to break all kinds of old, hardened habits. The benefits are great, but there’s a right and a wrong way to break those habits! I think this is a question on many people’s minds, so I’m going to post my response to a comment I received from John in another thread, who asked:
“How can I encourage her to become a stronger dominate and how can I be a better, more obvious submissive to her without her demanding it.”
My advice is to think about things from her point of view, and anticipate her needs and wants. The very few times that I have stayed at high-end, boutique hotels, the staff distinguished themselves by getting to know my wife and I and finding ways to make our stay better that we hadn’t even thought to ask for! The same goes for good restaurants. They are looking for ways to surprise and delight without being overbearing or obtrusive. So should all husbands, in my opinion!
When I was a teenager I worked in retail, and that got me used to trying to understand someone and offer them what they are looking for. That training has helped me a lot. My wife is more demanding than my most demanding customer, but the thing about demanding people is that despite what you’d think, they’re really quite pleased when you fulfill their demands! My wife expects a lot from me, and the consequences are severe if I don’t deliver. But whenever I do, she shows her appreciation for me. This is what makes the whole thing worth it for me–I love seeing her happy that much!