Apologies for being away for a few months. I finalized my new job, went on a vacation, and then started at the new office, all of which made it hard to have blog-worthy things to say. Keeping this blog has taught me real awe of people who can find interesting things to write about (and can write their ideas perfectly the first time).
I have a fairly clear idea of the kind of person I’d like to be. I know from experience that I’m at my happiest when I’m making others happy, building things that I can see others benefit from, and helping others by putting advantages that I have to work for those who don’t. I also know from experience that embracing my feminine identity, and being submissive to others (particularly my wife) brings me peace and fulfillment. I’ve spent a lot of time and tears coming to understand the way I operate.
I don’t always do these things, though. It’s easy to let negative thinking take over, to feel a gray sense of “blah” over everything (particularly when I have to go out somewhere and be super masculine), and to generally be a spectator of life rather than an active participant.
I’ve been trying to be more aware of how I feel, and to build reflexes that bring me closer to who I want to be as a person. I don’t present this list as authoritative, just some things I’m working on to be a better person.
Have a positive attitude toward life, so you can support others:
- Make thankfulness a habit.
- Express gratitude to others whenever you possibly can.
- Be present in the moment.
- Eat well, exercise, get plenty of sleep.
Express your passive and submissive identity more freely:
- Move slowly but steadily through your tasks.
- Stay calm and peaceful no matter what. Don’t overreact to things.
- Be accepting and resigned to things that displease you. Flight, not fight.
- Smile! No matter what.
Express your feminine identity more freely:
- Connect with your body by learning to dance or practicing yoga. Learn how you move, and be aware of your position.
- For some reason males are taught that poor posture is a sign of strength. Ignore these lessons, and seek to perfect your posture.
- Surround yourself (and dress yourself!) with color.
- When you feel a strong emotion, don’t fight it. Take a moment to stop and really feel that emotion.
- Talk through how you feel with others. Don’t keep things bottled up inside.
- Write about what you think, and then connect that to how you feel. Learn to identify your emotions, and redirect them from bad emotions to good emotions.
- Recognize that your femininity and submissiveness are related but independent of one another. Being feminine doesn’t make you submissive, and being submissive doesn’t make you more feminine. They often (but not always!) go together in men because we’re struggling against the narrow definitions masculinity has placed on us, but one doesn’t give us the other. In fact, take some time in your journal to consider how embracing femininity can make you stronger, and what you can learn from successful and powerful women.
Make pleasing others the thing that pleases you the most:
- Work with your Mistress to set your priorities, and know them! Accept the woman in your life.
- Listen to your Mistress! I keep notes in my phone whenever she expresses a preference for something, so I can remember.
- Plan ahead so you get more things done.
- Be organized so you get more things done.
- Make a list of things you enjoy that you’re going to have to give up. Discuss these with your Mistress, to get her input, then agree that you’re going to give those things up. If you can, physically get rid of things that will tempt you. For example, your video game system or motorcycle. If it means not doing an activity, cancel subscriptions and memberships related to that activity. Take tangible steps toward giving up things that take you away from Her.