I can’t believe it has been two whole years since I posted to this blog. I’m sorry. I have no excuse. I’ve heard from so many wonderful dominants and submissives in that time, and I hope my past posts have been helpful for new readers.
My wife and I have come a long way in the last two years. Let me describe two marriages.
In the first one, the couple has sex on a perfect schedule. There’s always money left over from paying the bills. The house runs like clockwork–laundry, dishes, cleaning, and maintenance happen automatically. Groceries and supplies magically appear when needed. Evenings are relaxed, weekends are full of fun and adventure. There are no disagreements, no arguments, no differences of opinions. The marriage serves as a platform to build a great career, pursue fulfilling adventures and a loving family.
The second marriage is marked by profound sexual frustration, frequent humiliation, and occasional coercion. Money is constantly watched over for any sign of problems. House chores are relentless, and only one spouse does housework, so the other spouse changes their work schedule to take one day every other week off from work to keep up. It seems any trip anywhere includes a stop at the grocery store on the way home. Evenings are spent catering to one person’s whims. Weekends are a death march, with cooking, more cleaning, and food prep happening between jaunts on ‘fun’ trips. There is no space for opinions or ideas. The marriage is a job.
The first marriage is the one my dominant wife lives and the one everyone else sees. The second marriage is the one I, her submissive husband, live every day.
In 2016, after my last post, she embraced full control of our sex life–and remade it. She was always clear that penetrative sex is not her preferred way of getting off. Even as we have continued being intimate–and she has continued receiving orgasms–I have only been inside her five times in the past two years (and one of those times, I was not allowed to orgasm!).
My masturbation schedule has been reduced, and I only wear my Holy Trainer when I’m very desperate and close to orgasm. I generally go three weeks or so between orgasms, with the first week or so unlocked. I had just over a dozen orgasms in 2017.
My wife believes it’s not worthwhile to her for me to only orgasm inside her, so she is OK with masturbation as long as it’s on her (rare) schedule. However, she finds it distasteful, and after years of masturbating in the bed or shower, she asked me early this past year to begin masturbating on my knees directly into the toilet. It’s out of her sight, and guarantees cleanup will be done properly (since I’m responsible for cleaning the toilets), but it’s also yet another humiliation. Sulking back to bed, pulling my panties back up over my painted toenails and shaved legs, after jerking off into the toilet is how the majority of my orgasms end now.
As I have become more sissified and feminized (I’m writing this wearing the new faux leather leggings, tight mockneck sweater, and thong bodyshaper Naughty Santa got me for Xmas!), my wife has continually mentioned that she would like me to start cumming more femininely, meaning more rarely and without jerking or pumping. Being a researcher, she has cited evidence (which I dare not argue with) that the average woman has an orgasm every other month. It’s her desire that I orgasm six times, and that I replace stroking into the toilet with using a vibrator to ejaculate into a maxi pad stuck into my panties. My last two orgasms have happened this way, and they are among the most intense orgasms I have ever felt.
Some things that may happen in 2018:
My wife may decide to forego penetrative sex completely. I’m never going to penetrate better than I eat pussy, and my cock is never going to do any of the things her vibrators can do.
I’m tucking and taping more while wearing feminine/sissy attire, and using the cage less. I still can’t get hard or feel any stimulation either way, but there is no bulge at all with a tuck and tape.
In less sexy news, I may start trying a grocery delivery service to eliminate a chore. I’ve pitched it to my wife, and now she is considering it. I’m also going to be starting a daily yoga habit in an effort to become calmer, more accepting and open, better able to cope with frustration, and as an excuse to get cute new workout clothes. I’ll be waking up 30 minutes early (and going to be 30 minutes earlier, so done with chores 30 minutes earlier…) to do this. I’m writing this here to keep me accountable!
This post has gotten longer than I’d intended. I hope it hasn’t been boring. Please feel free to email (firstname.lastname@example.org) or leave a comment.